Last Night

I had decided that I was going to try and distance myself from J...and somehow, I found myself calling him & asking him to meet me for dinner AGAIN. I am not sure one minute I don't want to see him & the next I am not able to breathe, my heart is pounding, the tears begin to fall and I long to see him, to touch him, to kiss him. I am so in love with him but at the same time I am so MAD at him...in one second he ruined everything. I tell him that I need my space that I need time to think but then I am texting him or calling him to meet somewhere. I have slept in his shirt every single night since he left & decided not to come back...I had just done laundry that day & somehow it had gotten pushed under the bed and it was the only thing that didn't get washed (it's like God was helping me out), it smells like him still & still my bed is lonely...the only reason I am getting any sleep is thanks to Advil pm & the only way I can stay awake during the day is from Mountain Dew & Vitamins. I am so lost & so lonely...I walk like I'm lost and the only time I feel whole is when I am next to him...

I know this feeling is not going to go away I know that because after everything I am still in love with him. I do know however that being mad at him will go away....

A thought about friends...

As many of you know I am having trouble with the Love of my life...in the past he has f'd up many times but not nearly as bad as what has happened most recently...My head is going in a million different directions do I stay or do I go?? My heart at this point is so confused...It's like my heart won't give up (i've never been a quitter) and my head won't either. I love him truely love him...and many don't even expierience that. Many never find love. I miss the man he was & I think it took this for him to realize that he wants to be with me...that he no longer will hurt me...that he will treat me the way I deserve to be treated.

My bestfriend thinks there should be no questions...she thinks I should just give up...she says she will not support me on this decision...

I was lost...why do I have to choose...and then Carmen told me this....

"Friends don't judge you... They listen and they try to understand and when they don't understand, they support you and walk hand in hand with you so when you fall they can help break that fall.... She'll have to learn to deal with who ever is in your life.. that's choice that only you can make.... no one can or should try and change matters of the heart...."

and I think that sums it all up.....

Wow they hit this one right on the HEAD!

Today's Leo Horoscope: Sep 26, 2008


You are going to be a valuable asset to others today, dear Leo, because of your rational frame of mind and ability to think things through clearly. The stubborn forces around you are not going to bend, but you have the unique ability to do so. Do your best to avoid fights, even though it will be tempting for you and others to want to let out some hot steam.

Today's Leo Horoscope: Sep 23, 2008

It seems that the new planetary lineup has just opened up some doors that had previously been bolted shut. You revel in the confidence that people have in you, dear Leo. It's not that your abilities have changed, just your attitude! People trust you because you exhibit more self-confidence. It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it? Hold on to it at all costs!

What Do you Do When a So-Called Friend Stabs You in the Back....

Where would we be without our close girlfriends? They make us laugh, keep us sane, and are always rooting for our success. Joy Stevens, who writes for online relationship articles, describes friendship as, "an in-depth relationship combining trust, support, communication, loyalty, understanding, empathy, and intimacy." Most of us would agree her definition hits friendship right on the nose, yet we've all been stung by the betrayal of what was thought to be a loyal girlfriend. And after a so-called friend stabs us in the back, we're left shocked and hurt - usually finding it hard to decide whether to let that feeling go or let it end your friendship.

Today's Leo Horoscope: Sep 22, 2008

You can never be any person other than who you are, dear Leo! That's the way it is and you can't change it. Other members of your family may have dreamed of getting free from something, such as a duty or a moral lesson, but these dreams do not apply to you. The dreams you have of being someone else are like phantoms that have come back to haunt you. Simply brush them away with the back of your hand!

Jeremy

So I just got done talking to my fave. Daddy. His name is Jeremy. He reminds me of my Dad... he has gracefully taken on raising his little boy. Doctors appointments, cleaning, cooking, park trips...you name it he does it.

I just wanted to give him a little love & share my appreciation for a Dad like that because there aren't many out there.

So if no one else is proud of you Jeremy I am it takes a good Man to do all you do!

He...

He keeps telling me "it is really starting to hit me now" I just wanna say hey Dummy you're still coming home to my stuff in the bedroom, my clothes in the closet, my girls stuff still in their room...Only I am not there. Just wait til it is all gone...Then it will hit you.


I know that it hasn't hit me yet. This just seems like a vacation from my life that I have lived as normal knowing all along that it wasn't. This is only going to get worse before it gets better.

But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!

When you have an "I hate my job" day, try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your faveorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it very carefully.You will notice that in small print there is a statement:"Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and THEN SANITIZED."Now close your eyes and repaet out loud five times "I'm glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson."HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS.

Today's Leo Horoscope: Sep 19, 2008

If you're feeling irritable and wrung out today, dear Leo, it may be a result of putting far too much pressure on yourself. It might be wise to take a look at the expectations you have of yourself. Consider this: Would you place the same demands on those closest to you? If your answer is no, it's time to revamp your lifestyle to suit the one you're most closest to - yourself.

WOW

There is a women from Russia who holds the world record for the longest legs...

Her freaking legs are 4'4" long....Dude I thought that I had long legs but WOW hers are an entire foot & a half longer than mine....

I just wonder has this Chick ever had a boyfriend?

Marine praised by Bush won't get Medal of Honor

SAN DIEGO - A Marine sergeant singled out by President Bush for throwing his body on a grenade to save his comrades in Iraq will receive the prestigious Navy Cross rather than the nation's highest military award, military officials said.

*Just another reason why President Bush Sucks*


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080918/ap_on_re_us/death_by_grenade

Clash or Credit

THE RULE — Certain color combos are forbidden
BREAK IT — When done right, any colors can be worn together. Of course prints can contain numerous hue combinations, but solid blocks of heretofore taboo pairings can also look scads more stylish than a play-it-safe palette. Black/brown, black/blue, even red/pink all work if you keep the tone the same — pastel shades put together, inky colors partnered, neon brights paired up.

***Okay so Jerriann finds this story on MSN & then has the nerve to refernce the piece about White...I mean seriously I have seen the girl where white a handful of times in our 4 year relationship (not lesbian but we are considering...desperate times call for desperate measures) anyhow, this girl mixes & matches colors like crazy...things that I would never ever think about. I have seen her in Green & Pink...Pink & Yellow...Mint Green & Yellow...I am just very happy to know that the girl isn't crazy...just a few years before her time.***

Read the entire artical here...http://shopping.msn.com/content/shp/?ctid=6450,ptnrid=164,ptnrdata=303663&GT1=37003

Today's Leo Horoscope: Sep 18, 2008

Consider using tact when speaking today, dear Leo. With this day's energy, it's important that you take the time to think about how your words will affect the person you talk to before speaking. It can be easier than usual to say the wrong thing - especially if you're in the position of telling someone something you think might not go over too well. Be careful to avoid comments that suggest criticism of the person rather than the deed.



**wow that is insightful**

Today's Leo Horoscope: Sep 17, 2008

Today you might be feeling inspired to help others less fortunate than yourself, dear Leo. The opportunity to do some volunteer work, perhaps for a church, charity or other humanitarian organization, could come your way. Or you could decide to throw yourself into an artistic discipline. Either way, you're likely to enjoy yourself immensely, and meet some interesting people in the process. Fundraising might be involved in some way. Have fun!

This is how I see it....

Why is it that "Great Girls" fall for horrible Boys...It came to me when my 4 year old said this boy was chasing her around the play ground trying to pull her pig tails...My 4 year old was blushing and every time we say Hailie Jade's got a boyfriend she gets all red & embarrassed. I realized she likes it. The attention from a boy, good or bad it's still attention.

As adults as Women we still are that little girl on the playground....the one that instead of getting our pig tails pulled it's our emotions instead. We fall in love & consume our lives with that one boy and even when he starts to pull our "Pig Tails" we are still attracted to him.

Don't we deserve better? Better than Cheaters, Liars, Absent, Heart Breakers? Don't we deserve someone who can realize what's right in front of there faces...A great girl!

I think if we as Women realized how strong we are! How beautiful we are! We could walk away from a man who is treating us badly.

The world is a very different place than even when our parents were first married...this day and age it is ok to walk away from a man who does not treat you equal. Women are equal and just as strong as a man. If we realized it we could do wonders with our power. Point is we deserve to be treated with respect, love, honor, density & care.

Remind yourself that for the very first time in history a Women ran for President!

This Lady was Genius....

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring… And when it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I’m already better than them.” - Marylin Monroe

Today's Leo Horoscope: Sep 16, 2008

Your level of intuition should be very high right now, dear Leo, as are your powers of manifestation. Today, you need to try to curb your thoughts and only think beautiful things, because you just might find that whatever you think about appears to manifest! Some powerful dreams and visions can open up new lines of intellectual exploration for you that can have a potent effect on your immediate future. Go to it.

How Could You

How could you leave me, when I wasn't their;
I thought that you told me, we were the perfect pair;
How was I to trust you, w/my tender heart;
I should have known that all you'd do, is tear it all apart;
So please forgive me, for what I'm bout to do;
I'm bout to clear you from my mind, so I can start over new;

I used to plan everything, revolving around you;
Now I constantly scream, CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

-Riley Bracewell

Today's Leo Horoscope: Sep 15, 2008

You have a kind of innate gift for healing and calming other people in crisis situations, dear Leo. If this isn't already what you do for a living, have you thought about doing something with this natural talent of yours? The positions of the planets, today, may be telling you to think about this in more concrete terms. If you are interested herbal therapy, for example, this might be the perfect time to set up shop!

Goals?

Conceive it, believe it and achieve it is my new fight song. Remember what you see is waht you get. If you can't visualize yourself eventually achieving a particular goal, reword it, change it-until you can actually believe in its ultimate fulfillment.

Hott Soccer Mom

Officially a Soccer Mom....& a hott one at that!


On a happy note my oldest Lady started soccer last night and OMG she is the best! I mean the best on her team. (No it's not my opinion I mean its definetly a fact). Tonight is her first Game & I told her you better get that ball from the other team you get it & you score a goal. She is going to do so great! Ya'll should my car....LOL!

Thin Lines

Wow life is hard...my Daddy never told me how thin the line was between Love & Hate...! I mean it's within minutes! One minute I love him the next minute I am hating him. Why does the damn line have to be so thin???? I just want to run so far away from this situation & never look back because my heart is just hurting so badly.

Until...

“You don’t know what love is Until you’ve learned the meaning of the blues Until you’ve loved a love you’ve had to lose You don’t know what love is”
–Chet Baker

Today's Leo Horoscope: Sep 12, 2008

Obviously, you have an important role to play, dear Leo! The mood today may be somewhat frustrating, but the way you handle it will earn you rewards and recognition in your workplace or at school. Your strength, self-control, and stability made the difference between success and failure. You can, and should, be proud of yourself!